Sunday is Father's Day. This day is a bit difficult for me. My dad passed away in 2000. You never really get over the death of a parent, especially if you had a good relationship. There is a void and some sadness thinking about someone you could not imagine would not be there. The happiness and joy comes from all that we shared (the nice and not so nice times) and knowing how many people cared for and loved my father....his smile, bad jokes, openness to all, sometimes the stubbornness, and charity. So....on to Father's Day.....
Okay, some of you have dads that were in your lives and others did not. Whether he was active in your life (in a good or bad way) or completely out of the picture, we all have a father. That is just a biological fact. Having a good father or dad is sometimes the luck of the draw...as they say "we can't choose our family." It is my luck that I had a good one. (NOTE: Either way, this does not excuse you from your own responsibilities or choices you make for yourself.)
My dad was, after I got older, my best friend and whom I told everything to. My mom and sister still have difficulty with this because they thought they could replace him for me in this aspect.....they don't get the father/son/guy thing. You just don't replace people that way.
So, what do we do with Father's Day? I have men in my life that have been "father like" and I have, by example, been a father to others. I have kid's in my life whose father's are not really active in their lives. What do I do? I listen, do activities with them, stand my ground on appropriate behavior, give them guidance when appropriate, babysit if asked....it's the "it takes a village" idea. (Note: when the mother is around all decisions are deferred to her, unless you are asked or ask.) It's really an honor and a compliment that I am trusted. I've even received Father's Day cards and gifts.
To those of you who have physical children of your own: You have the opportunity to be at the forefront of shaping the life of a spectacular human being. The ability to procreate does not end your responsibility as a father. To those of you with adopted children or have children in your lives that you care for: It's a hard job. To all the men: Step up and help when you can....there is a generation of kid's out there that is getting lost because of bad examples and no one that "step's up" as a good male role model or father figure.
To All: Go ahead and show appreciation to all the fathers, dads, papis, etc in your life. Many are under appreciated. When was the last time you saw an athelete say "Hey Dad!" when they are interviewed after a successful game?
I guess that's enough of my "off the top of my head" rant about Father's Day....enjoy the day and have a good week.
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