THE MIAMI BARBIE DOLLS:
GABLES BARBIE:
GABLES BARBIE:
This Barbie is only sold at Bal Harbour or Merrick Park. She comes with an assortment of Prada handbags, a Mercedes SUV, and a long-haired foreign dog named Honey. Available with or without tummy tuck and face-lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented"version.
DORAL BARBIE:
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with a Ford SUV, with a Venezuelan Flag Bumper Sticker, cookie cutter house, country club membership and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately.
Available with her twin sister, "Weston Barbie".
Available with her twin sister, "Weston Barbie".
HOMESTEAD BARBIE:
This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a 9mm hand gun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy Pickup with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash, preferably in small, untraceable bills (unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about). Also available with a mobile home and Mexican Ken.
BRICKELL BARBIE:
This ultra glam Barbie comes with your choice of a Mercedes or BMW Convertible. Included are a Starbucks travel cup, credit cards to every mayor fashion house, French pedicure and exclusive gym membership. Also available for this set are Real Estate Magnate Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
KENDALL BARBIE:
This brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled Kenneth Cole Slip Ons with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Hialeah Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise Brazilian jeans, skimpy halters, jewelry and Gucci sunglasses from "The Mart". Along with a Volkswagen Jetta sedan in silver.
COCONUT GROVE BARBIE:
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll , but if you purchase two Coconut Grove Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a complimentary "Free Tibet" sticker.
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll , but if you purchase two Coconut Grove Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a complimentary "Free Tibet" sticker.
HIALEAH BARBIE:
Dressed from head to toe in TICO fashions sporting thigh high skin tight 5 dollars jeans, "noo que barato!!!" see-through tops and $5 platform heels with 1.5" long red acrylic fingernails and shocking blonde hair with the black roots showing from a mile away. This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll and credit card to "La Canastilla Cubana" baby store. Optional Accessories include a GED and bus pass.
Marielito Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.
Marielito Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.
KEY BISCAYNE BARBIE:
With frosted blonde hair, clear manicure and a light tan, she's perfect in everyway. Comes with a convertible jaguar and yacht. We don't know who Ken is because he's always away hunting or golfing.
SOUTH BEACH BARBIE:
This doll is as hot as they come, she's the tallest model. She comes with a Donatella Versace tan, long light brown hair, "Miss Sixty" low riders, "Juicy" couture tank, Sergio Rossi slip ons, VIP access to Prive, Mynt and everywhere else. Also, this barbie can be easily converted into Ken or Drag Queen Barbie, by adding and removing make-up and body parts (Parts Sold Seperately)
1 comment:
Hysterical, Lu! Where'd ya find this?
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